What A Day! (Interviewing Nannies)

After placing a "help wanted" ad for a nanny on the Sing Tao newspaper on Thursday, which went to print on Friday, my cell phone practically rang off the hook. It was impossible to do anything else besides answering the phone. At first I took notes. Then it just got impossible. So I told the ladies to come for an interview today. So about ten made it to the apartment. It was quite a learning experience. The first one came bright and early, at 9:45 a.m., talked only about money and what kind of cleaning and cooking needed to be done. She came with her daughter. That was a 10 minutes interview and I dismissed her. The second came with a daughter as well, who talked as much as her. JK gave her a chance at interacting with Ethan and Ethan got her wrapped around his fingers in two seconds. Ethan didn't care for her but she was a great vehicle to get around. So the interview ended quickly. Then two others were very smooth with their talk about how great they are at taking care of both kids, clean and could cook as well. I dismissed them because there was no love of children in their voice, just their words. One woman told me she studied accupressure and other Tai Chi related exercises, that she could help my MIL with her hand which has been bothering her lately. The only lady I liked was a woman who never took care of anyone else's children but her own daughter. She was honest and direct. Her daughter was finishing up her first year at Harvard so she has been looking for work since the daughter went to college. She thought the hours we wanted, which is from 9:00 to 5:00 Monday to Friday, at 7.15 per hour, very reasonable for her. The only problem was that we want to give her a 1099 at the end of the year requiring her to pay taxes in full. Actually, almost all the ladies we interviewed had a problem with that because they cannot earn over a certain amount in order to stay qualified for a certain government sponsored health insurance. Without that, they could not afford healthcare, which meant it would be better not to work. As for this Harvard lady, her daughter also depends on financial aid to attend Harvard so an increase in the family's income would seriously affect how much they would end up paying in tuition. So all in all, it was a full day of talking to desperate Chinese middle-aged ladies in search of work because they were too young to retire but too old to be hired in a competitive work place. The minimum wage that I offered them was actually very attractive. The fact that I only require them to take care of my children and just make sure my home is neat and clean, with priority on my children, got them all wanting the job badly. My MIL told me that the other ads wanted the person to cook for the family, clean the house and take care of multiple kids with much longer hours and more days for not much more than I offered.

Well, at the end of the day, one of JK's aunt heard that we were hiring and told us she would split the job with a friend. She would work three days and the friend would do two. That her friend would mop our floor on those two days. I was just exhilarated when I heard she was able to take care of my children. She came to visit us when we first moved to the Lower East Side. During that visit, she just loved playing with Ethan and stated affirmatively that taking care of children is not work. Back when she was in China, she was an elementary school teacher. She now works as a home health aide taking care of elderlies from Saturday to Tuesday night.

So the ordeal is over . . . for now. There is always drawbacks to hire a relative as the nanny especially when JK's family is very strong on deference based on age and where one is located on the family hierarchy. At the same time, I also feel safe that it's a family relative who will care for my children because I know that she will care more than if it's a stranger. Afterall, she said it's not really work, right?

There is a big lesson today. I feel sad for all the ladies I met. Most of all, it is clear to me that I must work hard to make sure I will not have to desperately look for work when I get to be in my late forties and fifties. From what I experienced today, I think the economy and society need to find a way to employ so many willing and able middle aged women. Many of them are obviously suffering some form of depression from being rejected as healthy and useful members of society. Aging is a natural process. Since we all age, it should not be punished.

JW

P.S. I insisted on getting the bed frame and we bought it. JK came up with a really good reason why a second hand bed frame is no problem - both our children were made aboard and in a hotel bed, Ethan in Hong Kong and Artimus in Puerto Rico. Now you know why I love him.