That Special Day Was Last Tuesday 2/20/07
My baby girl Artimus took action last Tuesday morning at about 5:00 o'clock. I knew she was coming any time because of my shortness of breathe, and constant but inconsistent contractions for previous days. But one never knows exactly when. So that morning, interestingly, JK and I both woke up at about 5:00 am. We talked a bit while laying in the dark. I started telling him I have contractions and it hurts. He heard that before so he acknowledged it. Then I told him again I have contractions. He looked at me and said something like, "Is this the day?" I timed them and it's 5 minutes apart. I got nervous . . . it's the second child and everybody say it's much faster delivery. I immediately told JK to boil the ginseng. I needed all the energy I could get because Artimus was expected to be over 7 lbs and definitely has a big head. Not to mention the lack of sleep from all the night time bathroom runs and backaches. So the day began.
Thank God the type A in me got more than what the family needed packed in bags ready to go plus a check list of all that needed to be done. We took off at 7:30 and got to the hospital with no traffic by 8:00 am or so. We checked-in, told the nurse it's the second child and the first was a vaginal birth, and I was placed in a room at no time. The young nurse gently asked if I would like epidural. Oh, what a question. I nicely stated, "Yes, as soon as possible. That would be nice." Then doctors came streaming into the room, checking for the progress. But the anesticiologist did not come until 10:00 am. No problem, it was nice to see him who explained everything and I quickly signed the paper. At 10:15 am, the epidural was kicking in and my water broke, which meant even more frequent and stronger contractions. I thanked God for the impeccable timing.
Perhaps the most important fact to me at that time was whether my OB would be free to deliver my daughter. He is truly a doctor with the patient's health and happiness in mind. He delivered Ethan with medical expertise that only the most confident and experienced could have persisted with a vainal delivery rather than an emergency c-section. The attending doctor called Dr. Yeh, and came to tell me that the secretaries were screaming with excitement, that Dr. Yeh would walk over to deliver the baby. (Yup, I lobbied pretty hard the two weeks before to have his office ready for my big day.) So, that dream came true and JK and I were both at ease about the birth. I saw his fatherly smile at about 12:30 pm, and Artimus made her way to the world at 1:01 pm, after only a few pushes! I got to see her little fingers wrapped around mine, and got to look at her beautiful lively features moments after she was delivered. At once, we bonded. How can we not? She same early, at the perfect size of 6 lbs 15 onces, and she came fast! She is already my angel who rescued my confidence in motherhood. As I look into her eyes and hold her hands each fleeting moment, I wanted no more than just be a mom.
JW
P.S. The lack of sleep makes the writing a bit scattered and full of spelling and grammar mistakes.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
That Special Day is Near
I am finally home to wait for the signs of labor. It is snowy with icy rain all day so an angel must have watched over us since I only decided on Sunday that yesterday would be my last day of work. This little being has successfully kept me waking up at night every hour or so running to the bathroom. You can imagine how I look in the morning . . . so I decided to work no more.
Today, I cooked and cleaned. And I packed my hospital bag, this time with some snacks for JK and for me to recharge after the long labor. Tomorrow will be more cleaning and packing to move to our new home. This will be my exercise until she decides it's time. Baby rules! I learned that when Ethan came into the world. They are small but their power unimaginable.
Hope everyone is safe and staying warm during this unexpected snow storm.
JW
I am finally home to wait for the signs of labor. It is snowy with icy rain all day so an angel must have watched over us since I only decided on Sunday that yesterday would be my last day of work. This little being has successfully kept me waking up at night every hour or so running to the bathroom. You can imagine how I look in the morning . . . so I decided to work no more.
Today, I cooked and cleaned. And I packed my hospital bag, this time with some snacks for JK and for me to recharge after the long labor. Tomorrow will be more cleaning and packing to move to our new home. This will be my exercise until she decides it's time. Baby rules! I learned that when Ethan came into the world. They are small but their power unimaginable.
Hope everyone is safe and staying warm during this unexpected snow storm.
JW
Friday, February 09, 2007
"Your are a Proud Owner of Joane's Jewelry!"
Many girlfriends know that I have been making earrings and giving them out as gifts on special occasions. It's a very relaxing hobby for me because it takes me away from the worries of life and put me in the world of creativity. Then I get a second round of satisfaction when I see the joy I can bring to a friend who could feel a moment of beauty and happiness upon seeing the earrings. Well, my prolific production kinda helped my sister-in-law (and my sister and mom) build a collection of my earrings. She must have won them all the time because her colleagues finally subcumbed to asking her to ask me how much it costs to make them a pair. Well, it's expensive, I told my sister-in-law, 'cause I like to use quality materials like fresh water pearls, nice gems, and sterling silvers. I had been asked to make earrings before and when I say I wanted $60.00 and above, depending on the piece, that had stopped the inquiry. This time, her colleague persisted and expressed specifically what she wanted. I was flattered. So I designed one, with lots of different color fresh water pearls and gems that fit her taste and her features. At $65, I basically did not charge her labor. Well, now I am commissioned by another of her co-worker to make another pair of earrings. I was delighted that people liked my work, but will I work at a discount again, or is it time to evaluate the cost of my labor and factor that into the price? Or is this too early to view it as a potential income stream? That thought lingered until the receptionist at my OBGYN boldly asked me today if I could make her another pair of earrings, which she would like to pay for. I only made simple gem earrings for her and the physician assistant to thank them for their patience, professionalism and kindness during my first pregnancy and as a little gift last Christmas. I remember they were so happy and I always see them wear my earrings whenever I go for an appointment, which was not that frequent until recently. So do I have a market?
JK was very supportive of my creativity in making nice earrings since the beginning. He always gave good criticisms . . . simple criticisms like that doesn't look so special or that's a unique design. He never said the stones were too costly for a hobby. Rather, he always encouraged me to get the best quality stones and pearls to make good quality earrings. That's the good thing about our union, we reenforce our belief in doing the best and giving only quality work. So when I told him people wanted to pay for the earrings, he said I should start thinking about branding my work so people know they are "the proud owner of Joane's jewelry." He designed a symbol and asked me if I wanted to use it. Naaa, I said. I'll design my own. He kept trying to persuade me, "Are you sure? This meant eternity . . ." Naaa, I said. I am my own artist. Ha Ha Ha.
So this is on my mind. With a big mortgage and Ethan going to daycare in September, I was going to stop making earrings because we can no longer afford those quality gems and pearls. But with a market of followers who are willing to pay, may be I can keep going with more complex designs and more quality gems and pearls, even if I don't charge labor and just charge the cost of material. Mmmm.
JW
Many girlfriends know that I have been making earrings and giving them out as gifts on special occasions. It's a very relaxing hobby for me because it takes me away from the worries of life and put me in the world of creativity. Then I get a second round of satisfaction when I see the joy I can bring to a friend who could feel a moment of beauty and happiness upon seeing the earrings. Well, my prolific production kinda helped my sister-in-law (and my sister and mom) build a collection of my earrings. She must have won them all the time because her colleagues finally subcumbed to asking her to ask me how much it costs to make them a pair. Well, it's expensive, I told my sister-in-law, 'cause I like to use quality materials like fresh water pearls, nice gems, and sterling silvers. I had been asked to make earrings before and when I say I wanted $60.00 and above, depending on the piece, that had stopped the inquiry. This time, her colleague persisted and expressed specifically what she wanted. I was flattered. So I designed one, with lots of different color fresh water pearls and gems that fit her taste and her features. At $65, I basically did not charge her labor. Well, now I am commissioned by another of her co-worker to make another pair of earrings. I was delighted that people liked my work, but will I work at a discount again, or is it time to evaluate the cost of my labor and factor that into the price? Or is this too early to view it as a potential income stream? That thought lingered until the receptionist at my OBGYN boldly asked me today if I could make her another pair of earrings, which she would like to pay for. I only made simple gem earrings for her and the physician assistant to thank them for their patience, professionalism and kindness during my first pregnancy and as a little gift last Christmas. I remember they were so happy and I always see them wear my earrings whenever I go for an appointment, which was not that frequent until recently. So do I have a market?
JK was very supportive of my creativity in making nice earrings since the beginning. He always gave good criticisms . . . simple criticisms like that doesn't look so special or that's a unique design. He never said the stones were too costly for a hobby. Rather, he always encouraged me to get the best quality stones and pearls to make good quality earrings. That's the good thing about our union, we reenforce our belief in doing the best and giving only quality work. So when I told him people wanted to pay for the earrings, he said I should start thinking about branding my work so people know they are "the proud owner of Joane's jewelry." He designed a symbol and asked me if I wanted to use it. Naaa, I said. I'll design my own. He kept trying to persuade me, "Are you sure? This meant eternity . . ." Naaa, I said. I am my own artist. Ha Ha Ha.
So this is on my mind. With a big mortgage and Ethan going to daycare in September, I was going to stop making earrings because we can no longer afford those quality gems and pearls. But with a market of followers who are willing to pay, may be I can keep going with more complex designs and more quality gems and pearls, even if I don't charge labor and just charge the cost of material. Mmmm.
JW
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Bad Parents?
JK and I never thought we'll ever be perceived as parents with a terrifying child. I don't blame friends who feel this way. I guess if my child's pretty cheek is marked with two pink-red teeth marks for a couple of days, I would be upset too. Ethan is having a hard time controlling his affections and frustrations. The first episode occurred last November, when he was about 14 months. My colleague's two and a half year old son W and his four-month old brother H came to visit us. W has the cutest cheeks. Ethan was so happy to meet W that he insisted on hugging W. W at first refused such overly zealous affection, but gave in after about an hour, at which time they loudly laughed together while hugging. Then out of the blue Ethan gave W's cheek a big bite. W's laughs turned into crying with big tear drops. JK and I were stunned and apologized profusely while telling Ethan that it was wrong to bite people. Ethan had this look like he didn't know what was going on except that no one liked what he did.
From then on, JK and I alerted all those who take care of Ethan that Ethan has a biting problem and that we should all try to stop biting him if that was done, and that if Ethan bites then we should tell Ethan to stop because it's wrong. From that time on, I realized some people were "biting" his cheeks, arms and legs. They were also letting Ethan bite them without protest . . . but then would complain to me that Ethan was biting them hard. It appears to me that Ethan was getting mixed messages about how to express himself. Those who love him dearly are "biting" him, so why can't he do the same to those he likes? Ethan used to bite me hard when he sees me or when he can't get my attention. I stopped him immediately and sent a clear message that he cannot bite. These days, it appears that he only bites when he is frustrated.
So last Saturday, at a play date, he took a bite at A's round cheeks when I had taken my eyes off of him to talk to A's mother. A is a two year old and he is really a sweetheart with the most tender and non-aggressive demeanor. However, all children at that age engage in parallel play. So A and Ethan probably wanted the same toy and Ethan probably got frustrated when he couldn't get the toy from A. JK reported seeing the biting when it was happening and he was frozen and terrified by the sight of it . . . our sweetheart's teeth were on another little boy!!!!! That was too animalistic . . . too unreal! Thereafter, we were both caught in embarrassment and shame. I held back from the desire to hit Ethan - just on the face so he could remember how upset I was. JK later told me that he had the same urging. (We don't believe in corporal punishment. I do smack his bottom when he refuses to leave the kitchen when I try to cook. Ethan knows that meant I was really upset that he was playing in the kitchen. Other than his bottom, I don't hit. I don't believe that Ethan would learn anything from being hit by an adult.) Instead, I held him tightly and in a stern voice, told him how bad he was for biting A. I told him he would not be playing anymore. Ethan had this "I did something wrong" look on his face and sat quietly in my arms. A's parents were busy in the bathroom cleaning and checking A. Feeling horrible couldn't begin to describe the moment. What should we do to stop this from ever happening again?
We decided to tell all his caregivers again the problem we have with his biting other kids. So we did, and I asked everyone to tell Ethan at the moment the biting occurs that it is wrong. To add to the urgency, I said the little one to come would be in grave danger if Ethan doesn't know that biting is wrong.
I have mix feelings about the effectiveness of changing the behavior of those who take care of Ethan. Is this a natural consequence of not being able to stay home to teach Ethan, and have to rely on someone else? Which really meant some lost of control over how my child would be raised? Or is this to be expected from some children? In any case, I know that teaching the right behavior must start now. At the same time, I can't wait to put him in day care when he turns two in September. May be a different social environment would help.
JW
JK and I never thought we'll ever be perceived as parents with a terrifying child. I don't blame friends who feel this way. I guess if my child's pretty cheek is marked with two pink-red teeth marks for a couple of days, I would be upset too. Ethan is having a hard time controlling his affections and frustrations. The first episode occurred last November, when he was about 14 months. My colleague's two and a half year old son W and his four-month old brother H came to visit us. W has the cutest cheeks. Ethan was so happy to meet W that he insisted on hugging W. W at first refused such overly zealous affection, but gave in after about an hour, at which time they loudly laughed together while hugging. Then out of the blue Ethan gave W's cheek a big bite. W's laughs turned into crying with big tear drops. JK and I were stunned and apologized profusely while telling Ethan that it was wrong to bite people. Ethan had this look like he didn't know what was going on except that no one liked what he did.
From then on, JK and I alerted all those who take care of Ethan that Ethan has a biting problem and that we should all try to stop biting him if that was done, and that if Ethan bites then we should tell Ethan to stop because it's wrong. From that time on, I realized some people were "biting" his cheeks, arms and legs. They were also letting Ethan bite them without protest . . . but then would complain to me that Ethan was biting them hard. It appears to me that Ethan was getting mixed messages about how to express himself. Those who love him dearly are "biting" him, so why can't he do the same to those he likes? Ethan used to bite me hard when he sees me or when he can't get my attention. I stopped him immediately and sent a clear message that he cannot bite. These days, it appears that he only bites when he is frustrated.
So last Saturday, at a play date, he took a bite at A's round cheeks when I had taken my eyes off of him to talk to A's mother. A is a two year old and he is really a sweetheart with the most tender and non-aggressive demeanor. However, all children at that age engage in parallel play. So A and Ethan probably wanted the same toy and Ethan probably got frustrated when he couldn't get the toy from A. JK reported seeing the biting when it was happening and he was frozen and terrified by the sight of it . . . our sweetheart's teeth were on another little boy!!!!! That was too animalistic . . . too unreal! Thereafter, we were both caught in embarrassment and shame. I held back from the desire to hit Ethan - just on the face so he could remember how upset I was. JK later told me that he had the same urging. (We don't believe in corporal punishment. I do smack his bottom when he refuses to leave the kitchen when I try to cook. Ethan knows that meant I was really upset that he was playing in the kitchen. Other than his bottom, I don't hit. I don't believe that Ethan would learn anything from being hit by an adult.) Instead, I held him tightly and in a stern voice, told him how bad he was for biting A. I told him he would not be playing anymore. Ethan had this "I did something wrong" look on his face and sat quietly in my arms. A's parents were busy in the bathroom cleaning and checking A. Feeling horrible couldn't begin to describe the moment. What should we do to stop this from ever happening again?
We decided to tell all his caregivers again the problem we have with his biting other kids. So we did, and I asked everyone to tell Ethan at the moment the biting occurs that it is wrong. To add to the urgency, I said the little one to come would be in grave danger if Ethan doesn't know that biting is wrong.
I have mix feelings about the effectiveness of changing the behavior of those who take care of Ethan. Is this a natural consequence of not being able to stay home to teach Ethan, and have to rely on someone else? Which really meant some lost of control over how my child would be raised? Or is this to be expected from some children? In any case, I know that teaching the right behavior must start now. At the same time, I can't wait to put him in day care when he turns two in September. May be a different social environment would help.
JW
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Happy Marriage
I am told that no couples are truly compatible. I cannot agree more. JK is the most lovable guy . . . until the socks, shirts, shoes . . . you name it . . . appears in the middle of the foyer or on his way to the sofa from the door. I think it's a common complaint from women about men, not all men but enough. So JK is typical. Why can't he change? I asked him many times. One time he said something to the extent that I would miss it if I didn't have to pick up after him. Then he giggled and gave me a big hug. What is this? Charm me into being a typical wife from the 50's? Anyway. Thank God Ethan appears to be picking up after himself, and the next addition is a girl. I guess if this is the biggest complaint I have of JK, it's not so bad. With the help of a friend, I figured out a solution to the problem. It is the put-them-all-in-the-box solution with the caveat of a sign that says "To be discarded as garbage every Friday." Can't wait to watch his reaction. Hee Hee!
This is the article my friend Audrey emailed me today about happy marriages: http://aolsvc.health.webmd.aol.com/content/article/97/103988.htm
JW
I am told that no couples are truly compatible. I cannot agree more. JK is the most lovable guy . . . until the socks, shirts, shoes . . . you name it . . . appears in the middle of the foyer or on his way to the sofa from the door. I think it's a common complaint from women about men, not all men but enough. So JK is typical. Why can't he change? I asked him many times. One time he said something to the extent that I would miss it if I didn't have to pick up after him. Then he giggled and gave me a big hug. What is this? Charm me into being a typical wife from the 50's? Anyway. Thank God Ethan appears to be picking up after himself, and the next addition is a girl. I guess if this is the biggest complaint I have of JK, it's not so bad. With the help of a friend, I figured out a solution to the problem. It is the put-them-all-in-the-box solution with the caveat of a sign that says "To be discarded as garbage every Friday." Can't wait to watch his reaction. Hee Hee!
This is the article my friend Audrey emailed me today about happy marriages: http://aolsvc.health.webmd.aol.com/content/article/97/103988.htm
JW
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