Kaaterskill Falls

Ethan and Artimus' first hike in the woods is a not-so-easy ascent to almost the top of the Kaaterskill Falls. Mind you, this is the day after a major storm in the past 3 days. But Ethan's spirit was unparalleled ... at least until the last 5 minutes of the hike when he was literally jumping down because he was so tired. Above is a family photo with the falls behind us. It was not an easy hike like it was advertised but the sound of the falls throughout the hike kept it exciting. This is definitely recommended for nature-lovers.

Vitality. Who else can exhibit more of that than children? Ethan and g.

Artimus at 14 months

She melts my heart everyday.

Brooklyn Botanical Garden
It started out as a chilly and cloudy day but we were determined to visit the botanical garden for a feel of spring. To our surprise, the garden was crowded with kids and couples looking for color to take pictures. For those still hoping to see the cherry blossom, only a couple of trees actually blossomed. There were many more that are just budding with flowers. The attraction today? tulips and dandelions in red, orange, pink, and yellow. Thought the admissions was high at $8.00 per adult. With two kids, we knew we were only going to stay for an hour and a bit before they get completely tired and hungry so that's a bit expensive if we had to pay out of pocket.

JW

Sleep

Artimus turned 13 months five days ago. Even though she has only been walking for a little over a month, I can' t remember the days when she was not walking. I wish I took more pictures. But then I was too busy keeping up with two kids and making sure they are alive and not too injured before they finally fall asleep. I can't help but think that my poor memory of even the most immediate milestones in their lives is caused by a lack of good sleep. Artimus and I have been sleeping together since her first day of life. It was great to feel her breath and be able to keep her warm every night. No regrets for that at all. But two months ago, Ethan got a special need to be back in the same bed with mommy every night. Sleeping with one is okay. Sleeping with two somehow more than doubled the stress. Perhaps I wake up twice as frequently? I can't even remember that when I wake up in the morning. I just know that I woke up many times during the night to tend to my prince and princess. Then to add to this misery, somehow in the last week our routine doesn't put them in bed until 10:00 or 10:15 so they have not been falling asleep until about 11:00. That 45 minutes to 1 hour is no joke. I think it is torture to the highest degree kids can put their parent through. For some reason, Artimus and Ethan doesn't react quickly to darkness. Rather, they continue to laugh and to engage in other physical acts that provoke me, including poking, pinching, biting, kicking, kissing, hugging, screaming etc etc. They just have so much fun . . . until I threaten to get up and leave the room, then they calm down a bit. This has been going on for a week. I am beyond exhaustion.

Tonight, I reiterated the bedtime routine to my comrade in arms - JK- who is not always next to me in battles. This is particularly true when Artimus' crying begins, or Ethan hurts his feelings with "NO DADDY" for everything. (This is something Ethan loved to say after JK traveled out of town for work for two nights.) JK was dead tired, for some reason, and had a hard time keeping this simple routine I wrote out for him just two hours before. So the battle was one that I fought alone tonight. Ethan fell asleep at about 10:15 and Artimus fell asleep at about 10:45 pm, after an unexpected short nap from 9:15 to 9:45 pm. All in all, this was about a 45 minutes improvement from the previous nights when Ethan fell asleep at 11:15 pm and Artimus fell asleep at about 11:45 pm.

This sleeping battle will have to wage on and until I win, we all lose because neither Artimus nor Ethan are getting enough sleep for their age. I kept reading that sleep affect a kid's ability to learn and retain information. So I applaud my friends who had early on gathered up all their strength and had kept up a good sleeping routine. It is never too late to start improving ones life so this time, I must persist in moving them off my bed and into their own. The challenge is to help them feel secure enough to fall asleep. I guess it will have to be work on my part as well as theirs because sleeping alone is part of growing up.

I hope to report good news in a few days . . . I mean a few months.

JW

Some Thoughts

At two years and four months, Ethan is already having a hard time at life. To set the picture, Ethan bit another kid in his class about a month ago. The news came like a storm even though it was not unexpected. The parent of the victim child was unconcerned. I don't know if that was a good thing. Then the daycare wanted to meet, which I was glad about because they actually cared about their students. We came up with a plan to help Ethan improve his behavior, because according to their evaluation, Ethan is actually a very smart kid but needs to work on his aggression. So we decided we would give him big/huge/exaggerated hugs and praises whenever he does something good. We all did our part and for the weeks that followed, the teachers only fell more in love with all his helpfulness, cheerfulness and overall enthusiasm in class activities . . . until this Tuesday after a three day weekend. Well, to further put this in context, the week before the three day weekend, he was bitten twice by the kid he bit in mid-December. I was so proud that Ethan did not bite back.

You might ask, what happened over this three day weekend? I can't be sure but much was happening because we were all getting a cold for a second time, including that Artimus got an infection in both of her ears. To avoid too much drama in the middle of the night from any collatoral wakings due to anyone's waking, I asked Daddy to sleep with Ethan in another room. Other than the fight Ethan put up when we put him to bed, he slept fine. So I don't think it was solely because he was not able to sleep with Mommy when his sister could. I think it was because of Daddy. Yes, I am putting some blame on Daddy. He came home this weekend from a conversation he had with a friend he very much respected and confided in. His friend, a devoted Christian, who was not married and certainly don't have children yet, told him that it was important that Ethan be somehow taught to behave well, even if it meant hitting him. This friend further stated that from his observation of kids in his church, children tend to be happier when their parents were stricter with them. So this whole weekend Daddy was exclaiminng strong words of discipline if Ethan doesn't do this or that. Now, please note that I had always been the disciplinarian who had certain rules, like no ice-cream before dinner, we must brush our teeth before bed, and the deprivation of certain privilege if he bites, push, hits, or commits other crimes against moral turbitude for kids of his age. Daddy, on the other hand, was the one who gives up upon the sight of a tear or a tandrum Ethan had mastered. Granted, I must say Daddy's actions could sometimes really aggravates any two year olds, or anyone, since he doesn't respectfully ask before intruding with what he thinks ought to be happening. Ethan rarely throws a tandrum at me because I really try to respect his space and give him some control over what happens. One thing I try to do is to give Ethan routines which gives him some certainty as to what would happen next. Daddy is not a person of routines. Anyway, all the fuss Daddy raised over the weekend and Ethan's reactions/tandrums really drove me crazy. While Daddy went backward by trying to secure more control, Ethan is trying to assert independence and control over his existence like any two year olds. Like my neighbor said, people don't lable "terrible twos" for no reason.

This week, when the teachers reported that Ethan started picking on a kid who was always quiet, my heart just sank. All the improvements he had made over the past month just vanished.

Anyone who loves Ethan and who had spent enough time with him knows that he is a smart and vibrant kid with an aggression issue. I certainly know that Ethan needs a lot of attention and we really did not spend enough time playing with him. We were busy working, moving into our current apartment, and going through the pregnancy and birth of Artimus while Ethan was fast growing. Now that we have settled down, I felt we had missed a lot of critical time together. Although I would not say we are in a rescue mission, I know Ethan is going through a lot emotionally and intellectually. I have been reading a lot in the past few months, and had looked into counseling. In the end, I realize that it's time and attention that Ethan needs. As for Daddy's weekend behavior, he realized he was wrong in taking advice from an unmarried and childless friend on how to be a good parent.

Now, it's time to go back to the drawing board and try to bring out the best of Ethan again. This time, we have to seek JK's mother's help, like taking care of Artimus on a Saturday or Sunday while we take Ethan to the zoo or botanical garden. We are all growing, and parenthood is definitely a growing pain as well. I just hope that we don't cause that much damage to our beautiful kids in the process.

JW

Sick Again

Just when I thought we were emerging from our coughs, colds and ear infections, we are back with those pink stuff again, not to mention the boxes of Puffs and Kleenex tissues that are running out like water. The worst is to watch them all stuffed up and unable to breath confortably. Artimus, who use to always smile and laugh, is now crying over the slightest concern, like I stood up or I sat down or Ethan held her hand, etc etc etc . So I gave in to holding her more. Then, as you can imagine, Ethan didn't like that. So I found myself with a little 33 pound person threwing himself at me constantly, crying for love, attention, and whatever else he needed emotionally. Daddy was sick also. He was so tired from having to take care of two sick kids that he slept on the sofa for almost three hours on Saturday, admidst Ethan's crying, playing with his belly button and jumping on him. What's worst? It's really not funny . . . BUT IT IS. . . Daddy woke up and couldn't turn his neck! Well, it's now the fourth day. Hope JK's muscles are more relaxed now. In any case, we are so physically tested that nothing is exciting me at the moment. Just some more sleep would be great.

-JW

Did We Get the Flu?

The whole family has been sick since the middle of December and I am beginning to forget how it feels like to be well. Ethan was better with just a cough two days ago, and he is now back with a runny nose. I can't imagine the weather had nothing to do with it because it felt like below 10 degrees yesterday. Meanwhile, Ethan pressed on with, "no scarf . . . don't want it . . . NO." Instead of strangling him on the street, I just let him experience the cold with my incessant nagging that it's cold. The worst was probably feeling Artimus like a little hot potato by my side last night. She was congested and got a very high temperature. So naturally, she was fussy. Thank God for the beco baby carrier - she was able to fall asleep while sitting up and close to me. Unfortunately, I had to walk around in the middle of the night, half asleep and extremely tired. My own cold and sore throat felt worse, but who cares about the mother when the babies are sick?! Nevertheless, when the sun came up, the routines kept the family going - Daddy wakes up to get ready to work, then I wake up, shower, get dress while Daddy kiss everybody goodbye (or not sometimes), run to catch the bus, drop off Ethan to day care, and run to work.

I wonder when we'll all finally fight off this illness of sore throat, cough and runny nose. Meanwhile, we just want to stay away from everybody until we get better. Hopefully by Chinese New Year, we would all forget how it feels to be sick and can enjoy the festivities.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-JW