Terrible Twos

We thought we were already dealing with the terrible twos ... G wizz we were wrong. Last night, Ethan gave us a real taste of it. From the moment I got home at 7:00 p.m., he was in his shoes with his metro card in hand saying, "dob ba si", which meant to take the bus. I was tired from walking the approximate one mile home and couldn't wait to get into comfortable clothes. Not to mention eat my dinner. I asked if we could have dinner first, watch Curious George, then if he still wants to we could go out. Ethan pointed to the door with metrocard in hand, saying, "dob ba si". I said I was hungry. He comes close to me and then as soon as I have my hands on him, he threw himself on the floor and started wailing. I almost couldn't catch him. I told him that it was time for dinner. Noop. That did not stop him. He screams from the top of his lungs, still managed to squeeze in, "dob ba si". I put him on the floor and told him to let it out, and when he is done he should join us for dinner. He must have reached the peak of his wailing. I thought my heardrums were about to pop. JK was speechless. We just ate in silence 'cause we couldn't even hear each other talk. We pretty much decided he was not going to win this one.

...then of course, after half an hour of pure noise pollution, and we couldn't even hear our own thoughts, I told JK to take him out for a walk. Ethan stopped his wailing immediately and brought over to JK his shoes. Then as they were exiting the apartment, Ethan turned to me and said "sub ray". I thought, "sorry"? I was so happy I couldn't help but say, "I always love you." Ten minutes later, they were back and Ethan was cheerful. When asked to take off his shoes, he refused and started wailing again. Gee Weez, what is going on? JK told me his mother told Ethan that we would take him on the bus when we get home. Great, just great! I told JK we should not lie to Ethan and that he should take Ethan on the bus to his mom. So they left, Ethan happily, again. About an hour later, they came back. Ethan was in his happy singing self until he was asked to take off his shoes again. He refused and said, "dub sub ray". Then it dawned on me that he didn't say sorry earlier. He said "subway" and now he wants to take the subway. I felt deceived and disappointed that he didn't apologize to me earlier. JK said no subway. I walked over and explained to him that it's dark outside and people sleep at night, not take the subway. Ethan literally threw himself on the floor, still with his metrocard in hand, and started wailing. Please picture this. His face was really in pain with real tears that dropped like a rainstorm. For added effects, Ethan knocks his head on the floor as soon as I make eye contact with him. This time, we decided it was time to let him cry. But just in case, JK looked up in our reference guide to see about this behavior. As it turned out, it was very normal that toddlers act out like this because they don't know how else to communicate their strong desire. Granted, it is true that for some of the things he wanted to do, we actively encouraged him with many praises. How would he know that for other things, like taking a bus or subway, we would discourage to the point of forbiddening him? So JK and I carried on our evening doing our own things. About 45 minutes after Ethan started his wailing, JK went and picked him up. Ethan was exhausted and initiated putting his metro card away. JK took off his shoes, changed him into his pajamas. I changed his diaper and proceeded to read two of his favorite books. JK warmed up his milk. Half way through the book, he didn't point to the monkey or the number or make a hand gesture that he was talking on the phone. I looked down and his eyes were closed. JK fed a limp Ethan his 8 ounces of milk and we put him on the bed. That was the end of our first battle. Not sure if we won the war but we sure did win this battle.

JW

Two Year Check Up

I thought it would be a nightmare taking Ethan to the doctor on my own. But he proved me wrong. He just sat in his carseat looking out the window the whole time I drove to and from his doctor. He only asked to be carried when he saw that we were heading into the doctor's building. Ethan was not clingyi, which was normal. I told him to play with all those truck toys in the play area but he wasn't comfortable. I guess he was having a little anxiety. So I played with him. He was amazingly attentive. When a 16 month old girl arrived, he even tried to lure her to play with him. Nonetheless, when his name was called, he stood at the doorway reluctant to enter the examination room. Well, still, other than crying from the top of his lungs, 'cause he did get two shots, he didn't kick or throw himself around. Thank God 'cause I wouldn't have had enough strength to hold down this 30 lb kid. Yes, his weight is 75 percentile and his height is still between 75 and 90 percentile. This is certainly in keeping with his past record - he is a 75 percentile kid. His sister Artimus is a 50 percentile baby. The doctor pronounced him healthy and I left happily holding his little, but not so little anymore, hand.

JW

Longing to be Home

The thought has been growing in my mind for the last two weeks. Everytime I thinking about Ethan and Artimus, their big brown eyes just pop into my head -Ethan with that "I want to be with you every moment" look and Artimus with that big happy laugh. Working part-time is an option at my job. I ruled out working part-time initially because I really want to feel as little financial strain as possible even with the huge mortgage we have now. However, I am really missing out on their extraordinary moments like Ethan's first word and soon to come first sentence, and Artimus first crawl or first steps. The problem is, even if we are willing to be very tight financially for a year, we really couldn't then pay someone 3 days a week and then I am home two days a week. And I won't let a 60 something woman take care of an infant and an active toddler all by herself for a whole day. I truly want to spend more time at home with Ethan, to play, sing, dance, read, and draw with him. The nannies are not doing that because they each only had one child and I don't think they had the time to be with their child at that time. So they have absolutely no instinct when it comes to playing, singing, dancing, reading, or drawing with a child. They just want to do our house work. So perhaps that's what we'll have them do, and make our dinner so when we get home we can focus on playing with Ethan and Diane. Why kept asking them to read to Ethan or take him out? My heart still longs to be home with them but if I stop the current arrangement, I can't quite reverse the process. I miss them so much during the day.

JW

Ethan is Two

We celebrated Ethan's big two yesterday. He was happy just being able to play in the playroom and be surrounded by so many little friends. I don't think he realized what we were telling him all week, that he was turning two, until everyone started singing happy birthday! He never got so much attention before and he was quite thrilled and a little stunned. As a mother, I was so proud that he is now a healthy and happy toddler. Can't believe it's been two years since that eventful day of labor. I could still feel every beat of that whole day unfolding with him arriving into this world. Ethan now is a boy with an outgoing personality, fun loving, and just full of obsessions. He loves girls, his size or bigger. He loves to sing and dance, as all our friends saw at Pang and Kity's wedding in Bermuda when he refused to leave the dance floor. Uncle Kam bought him a kiddy battery powered electric guitar with a microphone for his big two. As soon as Daddy got the whole gig set up, he was playing the guitar and singing like a rock star with a jazzy inclination. Just the way mommy likes it. He still craves to take the bus, but I had to put a stop to the nanny taking him on the bus two times a day all around town. He also loves the water . . . I mean crazy about the water. In a purely innocent way, his craziness about the world around him is so wonderful to watch. I am so happy we could experience it together!

Now, the plan is to toilet train this two year old so he can be ready for school.

JW