Sleeping Dilemma
There is no word to describe how I feel as a mother when my son is waking up every hour or two in the dead of night. He is not getting sleep, JK is not getting sleep, and I am not getting sleep. That makes a whole cranky family. As to babygirl, she can't sleep or stay asleep unless I am next to her so now I have no personal time to dream of. Mentally, I am so exhausted that I can't keep up with what babygirl is suppose to be capable of at five months or what Ethan is at 23 months. I don't even know what Ethan's favorite food is anymore because he is losing appetite. I can't help but think that it's because he doesn't have enough sleep. Should I start training babygirl to sleep on her own again so may be then I have time to train Ethan? I have come to realize that mothers have to do the real job. Daddys are punch bags for kids. They can't withstand any battles where the other side's weapon is tears. Or may be that's just my husband.
JW
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Reviewing the Need
The whole crying-out training had taken a different turn last Friday. For some reason, she woke up after just half an hour and started crying in a very different, more desperate, tone. She sounded scared. So I took her back to my bed and held her securely in my arms, belly to belly. She calmly fell back asleep. The next night, she cried as soon as I put her in the crib and I guess I put her in the crib with the lights on so I saw the sadness on her face. That just doesn't work for me . . . you know what next.
Last night, we were both hot and sticky because we went fruit and vegetable picking. Oh, that was fun but I'll share with pictures. Anyway, I couldn't even nurse her I was so uncomfortable. After I bath her, fed her 4 ozs of formula, burped her, and turned off the lights, I put her in her crib. Sadly, she reacted instantly with wailing and kicking. I picked her up. After another 10 minutes of holding her, I let her down in the crib again. This time, I went to take a shower, hoping she would have stopped crying by the time I am done. Well, I walked out of a relaxing shower to her out-of-breath and choking type crying. My anxiety level just peaked. JK asked if may be we don't have to do this but just keep doing what seemed perfectly fine even though we only half-sleep with the kids on the same bed. I said fine, go pick her up from the crib. When JK walked over to me with babygirl, her eyes were tearful, face red, with hair drained in her sweat. I asked to take her from his arms, with my arms open to her. She turned away. I went to the other side and asked again, she turned away again, crying. Can you imagine how my heart just sank? This little being has feelings and she was hurt. So no more. A few years, that's all! So why not? Her feelings is paramount and I will not leave her in the dark again. If she is anything like me, I am afraid of the dark. Yup.
JW
The whole crying-out training had taken a different turn last Friday. For some reason, she woke up after just half an hour and started crying in a very different, more desperate, tone. She sounded scared. So I took her back to my bed and held her securely in my arms, belly to belly. She calmly fell back asleep. The next night, she cried as soon as I put her in the crib and I guess I put her in the crib with the lights on so I saw the sadness on her face. That just doesn't work for me . . . you know what next.
Last night, we were both hot and sticky because we went fruit and vegetable picking. Oh, that was fun but I'll share with pictures. Anyway, I couldn't even nurse her I was so uncomfortable. After I bath her, fed her 4 ozs of formula, burped her, and turned off the lights, I put her in her crib. Sadly, she reacted instantly with wailing and kicking. I picked her up. After another 10 minutes of holding her, I let her down in the crib again. This time, I went to take a shower, hoping she would have stopped crying by the time I am done. Well, I walked out of a relaxing shower to her out-of-breath and choking type crying. My anxiety level just peaked. JK asked if may be we don't have to do this but just keep doing what seemed perfectly fine even though we only half-sleep with the kids on the same bed. I said fine, go pick her up from the crib. When JK walked over to me with babygirl, her eyes were tearful, face red, with hair drained in her sweat. I asked to take her from his arms, with my arms open to her. She turned away. I went to the other side and asked again, she turned away again, crying. Can you imagine how my heart just sank? This little being has feelings and she was hurt. So no more. A few years, that's all! So why not? Her feelings is paramount and I will not leave her in the dark again. If she is anything like me, I am afraid of the dark. Yup.
JW
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Not Giving UP
I had not given up my decision to train baby girl to sleep in the crib. I failed on first try and even the second try, but I went back to the crib yesterday, the third day. It's hard for all mothers to hear their babies cry hard and loud just so that they can be in the mother's arms . . . when picking them up and cuddling with them is sooooo easy. Yesterday night, after I fed Artimus 4 ozs of formula, I stood by the crib with my hand on her chest singing "You Are the Song Singing in My Heart" as I always did when putting her to sleep. Artimus was quiet but uneasy. She must have flopped from one side to the other ten billion times, and made many revolutions, trying to sleep. (Her attempt to sleep is so cute even in the dark.) This lasted an hour until Ethan came into the room crying non-stop for or about something. JK didn't take Ethan out and I was just speechless. I left and baby girl started crying, which quickly escalated into screaming from the top of her lungs. There was nothing I wanted to do more than to go in and hold her in my arms. But I reminded myself that I must do this like I do everything else - which is to do my best to succeed. So I kept myself busy. After half an hour of crying, and Ethan had left her bedroom, there was dead silence. I was exhilarated. Indeed, she slept and she slept until 2:30 am when I stupidly went over to check on her and she spotted me. Oh well, that's okay. It was already more than five hours after she sleep, which meant she already "slept through the night." I put her on my bed, nursed her and we fell asleep in each other's embrace. I guess I have to train myself to stop wanting to sleep with her as well. That will be tonight.
JW
I had not given up my decision to train baby girl to sleep in the crib. I failed on first try and even the second try, but I went back to the crib yesterday, the third day. It's hard for all mothers to hear their babies cry hard and loud just so that they can be in the mother's arms . . . when picking them up and cuddling with them is sooooo easy. Yesterday night, after I fed Artimus 4 ozs of formula, I stood by the crib with my hand on her chest singing "You Are the Song Singing in My Heart" as I always did when putting her to sleep. Artimus was quiet but uneasy. She must have flopped from one side to the other ten billion times, and made many revolutions, trying to sleep. (Her attempt to sleep is so cute even in the dark.) This lasted an hour until Ethan came into the room crying non-stop for or about something. JK didn't take Ethan out and I was just speechless. I left and baby girl started crying, which quickly escalated into screaming from the top of her lungs. There was nothing I wanted to do more than to go in and hold her in my arms. But I reminded myself that I must do this like I do everything else - which is to do my best to succeed. So I kept myself busy. After half an hour of crying, and Ethan had left her bedroom, there was dead silence. I was exhilarated. Indeed, she slept and she slept until 2:30 am when I stupidly went over to check on her and she spotted me. Oh well, that's okay. It was already more than five hours after she sleep, which meant she already "slept through the night." I put her on my bed, nursed her and we fell asleep in each other's embrace. I guess I have to train myself to stop wanting to sleep with her as well. That will be tonight.
JW
Monday, July 09, 2007
Giving Crying-It-Out a Try
Sometimes I think Ethan is the poster child for how-to-destroy-child by-co-sleeping. Other times, I enjoy the bond that comes with co-sleeping. Basically, Ethan could not sleep unless he is seriously helped, and he wakes up easily, with a temper because he did not get enough sleep. On average, he sleeps 8 hours at night and about 1 to 2 hour nap in the afternoon. That's not enough for a 22 month old.
As you can imagine, I had been thinking about putting baby girl to sleep in the crib on her own. The nannies in the neighborhood tells me that if the child sleeps on his/her own, the child usually sleeps longer, like up to 12 hours straight. I also know friends who have children who sleeps that long on their own in a crib.
So tonight, after nursing, I gave myself no more excuse to postpone the inevitable. Artimus landed in the crib, smiling as usual. After an unusually long 10 minutes, she started crying . . . louder and louder . . . then some coughing, then a brief silence followed by a high pitch scream and more desperate crying. The seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. I could just see her face with all the tears stream out of her eyes, and her arms swing and her legs kicking. I cried too. After about half an hour, JK and I decided that perhaps our kids are just born to need co-sleeping.
JW
Sometimes I think Ethan is the poster child for how-to-destroy-child by-co-sleeping. Other times, I enjoy the bond that comes with co-sleeping. Basically, Ethan could not sleep unless he is seriously helped, and he wakes up easily, with a temper because he did not get enough sleep. On average, he sleeps 8 hours at night and about 1 to 2 hour nap in the afternoon. That's not enough for a 22 month old.
As you can imagine, I had been thinking about putting baby girl to sleep in the crib on her own. The nannies in the neighborhood tells me that if the child sleeps on his/her own, the child usually sleeps longer, like up to 12 hours straight. I also know friends who have children who sleeps that long on their own in a crib.
So tonight, after nursing, I gave myself no more excuse to postpone the inevitable. Artimus landed in the crib, smiling as usual. After an unusually long 10 minutes, she started crying . . . louder and louder . . . then some coughing, then a brief silence followed by a high pitch scream and more desperate crying. The seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. I could just see her face with all the tears stream out of her eyes, and her arms swing and her legs kicking. I cried too. After about half an hour, JK and I decided that perhaps our kids are just born to need co-sleeping.
JW
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Addictive Habits
Many moons ago, JK and I decided that we don't mind sleeping with Ethan. Then there were many moons ago that we also decided that it's time to train him to sleep on his own. Those determinations were normally curtailed when Ethan comes down with some sort of illness, which always happened when we were in the mist of training him to sleep on his own. When Artimus was born, JK was thrown the responsibility of taking care of Ethan because my hands were full with Artimus. JK found that Ethan would calm down and sleep when put in the backpack todler carrier. Guess what, Ethan now expects to fall asleep in that carrier. Then there is the pacifier. Ethan has this big smile on his face when he sees his pacifier, probably the same expression you see when a cocaine addict sees the cocaine. These days, we experience the worst of these habits.
First, with Ethan, JK gets no sleep because Ethan still wakes up in the middle of the night asking for milk. Hah, I told JK to start weaning him but he had always found it easier just to give him the milk.
As with the pacifier, we had successfully limited the pacifier to sleep time only . . . until Ethan learned that messy Daddy always forgets to put the pacifier away. So open access meant more addiction. Last night, Daddy found a pacifier and while walking it to the kitchen, Ethan saw it. Ah, the show began. Ethan wanted it. Daddy said no, only for sleeping. Ethan wanted it. Daddy put it on the kitchen counter, too high for Ethan to reach. Ethan threw himself onto the floor and started crying/wailing/screaming from the top of his lungs. Daddy stared at Ethan, speechless. Ethan cried louder. Daddy went to bedroom where mommy and baby girl were, asking, "What do you think I should do?" Daddy loved to debate over any proposed method, so I just said, "I don't know. You figure it out." Daddy looked helpless, walked out. I heard Ethan ran into the other bedroom where Daddy went, continued to scream from the top of his lungs in desperation for the "mum mum". Daddy walked into mommy and baby girl's room. Ethan came running into the room and threw himself at my legs, falling to the ground and half underneath the bed. Oh, my heart felt like it just got slashed open and blood began to flow out. I picked him up and held him tight, softly reminding him, "Mum mum is for sleeping only. You will get it when you sleep. No mum mum otherwise." Ethan looked at me in his teary eyes, "mum mum." "Mum mum is for sleeping only," I repeated. I guess he being uncertain . . or unyielding, Ethan repeated, "mum mum." Daddy walked in, looking really guilty and in pain, took Ethan from my arms and said, "What should I do now?" Well, I suggested the art of distraction and it worked.
Then, bedtime came and went. That is, Ethan refused to sleep. We gave him the pacifier at 8:30 pm but at 11:30 he still wants to read a book or just hang out in the living room. JK wanted to wait for Ethan to crash on his own so he can slowly stop Ethan from relying on the backpack carrier to fall asleep. Well, Ethan just couldn't do it. So at almost midnight, daddy took out the backpack carrier and Ethan fell asleep almost instantly. Talk about addiction!
So, what are we to do? The plans are formulating in my head. The only question is whether we have the perseverance to carry them out. Now, my focus is to train Artimus to sleep on her own.
JW
Many moons ago, JK and I decided that we don't mind sleeping with Ethan. Then there were many moons ago that we also decided that it's time to train him to sleep on his own. Those determinations were normally curtailed when Ethan comes down with some sort of illness, which always happened when we were in the mist of training him to sleep on his own. When Artimus was born, JK was thrown the responsibility of taking care of Ethan because my hands were full with Artimus. JK found that Ethan would calm down and sleep when put in the backpack todler carrier. Guess what, Ethan now expects to fall asleep in that carrier. Then there is the pacifier. Ethan has this big smile on his face when he sees his pacifier, probably the same expression you see when a cocaine addict sees the cocaine. These days, we experience the worst of these habits.
First, with Ethan, JK gets no sleep because Ethan still wakes up in the middle of the night asking for milk. Hah, I told JK to start weaning him but he had always found it easier just to give him the milk.
As with the pacifier, we had successfully limited the pacifier to sleep time only . . . until Ethan learned that messy Daddy always forgets to put the pacifier away. So open access meant more addiction. Last night, Daddy found a pacifier and while walking it to the kitchen, Ethan saw it. Ah, the show began. Ethan wanted it. Daddy said no, only for sleeping. Ethan wanted it. Daddy put it on the kitchen counter, too high for Ethan to reach. Ethan threw himself onto the floor and started crying/wailing/screaming from the top of his lungs. Daddy stared at Ethan, speechless. Ethan cried louder. Daddy went to bedroom where mommy and baby girl were, asking, "What do you think I should do?" Daddy loved to debate over any proposed method, so I just said, "I don't know. You figure it out." Daddy looked helpless, walked out. I heard Ethan ran into the other bedroom where Daddy went, continued to scream from the top of his lungs in desperation for the "mum mum". Daddy walked into mommy and baby girl's room. Ethan came running into the room and threw himself at my legs, falling to the ground and half underneath the bed. Oh, my heart felt like it just got slashed open and blood began to flow out. I picked him up and held him tight, softly reminding him, "Mum mum is for sleeping only. You will get it when you sleep. No mum mum otherwise." Ethan looked at me in his teary eyes, "mum mum." "Mum mum is for sleeping only," I repeated. I guess he being uncertain . . or unyielding, Ethan repeated, "mum mum." Daddy walked in, looking really guilty and in pain, took Ethan from my arms and said, "What should I do now?" Well, I suggested the art of distraction and it worked.
Then, bedtime came and went. That is, Ethan refused to sleep. We gave him the pacifier at 8:30 pm but at 11:30 he still wants to read a book or just hang out in the living room. JK wanted to wait for Ethan to crash on his own so he can slowly stop Ethan from relying on the backpack carrier to fall asleep. Well, Ethan just couldn't do it. So at almost midnight, daddy took out the backpack carrier and Ethan fell asleep almost instantly. Talk about addiction!
So, what are we to do? The plans are formulating in my head. The only question is whether we have the perseverance to carry them out. Now, my focus is to train Artimus to sleep on her own.
JW
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