Reviewing the Need

The whole crying-out training had taken a different turn last Friday. For some reason, she woke up after just half an hour and started crying in a very different, more desperate, tone. She sounded scared. So I took her back to my bed and held her securely in my arms, belly to belly. She calmly fell back asleep. The next night, she cried as soon as I put her in the crib and I guess I put her in the crib with the lights on so I saw the sadness on her face. That just doesn't work for me . . . you know what next.

Last night, we were both hot and sticky because we went fruit and vegetable picking. Oh, that was fun but I'll share with pictures. Anyway, I couldn't even nurse her I was so uncomfortable. After I bath her, fed her 4 ozs of formula, burped her, and turned off the lights, I put her in her crib. Sadly, she reacted instantly with wailing and kicking. I picked her up. After another 10 minutes of holding her, I let her down in the crib again. This time, I went to take a shower, hoping she would have stopped crying by the time I am done. Well, I walked out of a relaxing shower to her out-of-breath and choking type crying. My anxiety level just peaked. JK asked if may be we don't have to do this but just keep doing what seemed perfectly fine even though we only half-sleep with the kids on the same bed. I said fine, go pick her up from the crib. When JK walked over to me with babygirl, her eyes were tearful, face red, with hair drained in her sweat. I asked to take her from his arms, with my arms open to her. She turned away. I went to the other side and asked again, she turned away again, crying. Can you imagine how my heart just sank? This little being has feelings and she was hurt. So no more. A few years, that's all! So why not? Her feelings is paramount and I will not leave her in the dark again. If she is anything like me, I am afraid of the dark. Yup.

JW