Head Injuries and Heartaches
Our heads are designed with quite amazing qualities. It is designed to absorb most physical shock. I am no expert in this simple concept but I am certainly a believer after seeing Ethan fell and bang his forehead - left, center, and right - so often that there is not one week in the past two months when he did not have a black and blue growth on his forehead. Still, he is active as usual. I thought that was all the heartaches until yesterday, when daddy flew off his bike over the handle bar and landed face first. The rushed morning heading out to work ended up with me rushing him to the emergency room at Bellevue Hospital. No, daddy still looks good to me . . . except the face has extra black and blue paddings and scraps. Luckily, the CAT scans showed no fractures so in a few weeks, like may be three, he will be normal looking again. Ethan may want to get close to daddy again . . . and not Frankenstein. Hey, no costumes for daddy tomorrow, just his patient covering is sufficient.
I thought the female in the family are safe until I lost grip of her in one of her newly learned kicks off the person holding her and she landed . . . head first on our wooden floor, surprise! So everyone sustained a head injury except for me. Of course, by night, after all have been hurt, my heart was left to ache, especially for baby girl, who is only 8 months. I just hope the injury was superficial and she will be as smart as she should be.
JW
My sister gave birth to a healthy little boy last Friday10/26. Best of all, God was with her in a difficult surgery. It's worth a celebration that she is alive to be a mother to all her beautiful children.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Putting Ethan In Day Care
Finally, after months of back and forth, I finally decided that it's time. There are just so many reasons to give day care a try. As the days go by, these reasons are looking more certain to outweight the reasons not to put Ethan in day care. First of all, I have tried to ignore the fact that Ethan's day time diet is beyond miserable. Congee, Congee and more congee, with bread sometimes. This is probably one of the same problem I have experienced with my MIL - indirect does not work for her but direct would yield confrontation and bad feelings. I left food in the refrigerator - buns, dumplings, frozen soy beans, fruits, cheerios, animal crackers - all of which she refused to feed Ethan. I turned to the nannies. The nannies did not want to contradict the MIL. I then noticed MIL started bringing food like sponge cakes and rice noodles with beef inside. So fine, I left it at that but continued to leave the same type of food in the refrigerator, in the hopes that she would either get bored with bringing the food or the cost would stop her at some point. Noop, she did not stop but very often she would bring a whole cart of congee for the day and Ethan would have that for breakfast, lunch and late afternoon snack. Granted, there were times when I consumed the food over the weekend but failed to recharge the refrigerator for a day or two. I heard no complaint and so that was how it went because the food would be untouched anyway. In the past month, I noticed that he would have congee at about 5:00 or 5:30 pm because he refused to eat dinner with us, the meal that would give him the most nutrition because I often have fish, a vegetable and a pork or chicken dish, plus a healthy pot of soup. Now, Ethan is really a stick. Everybody knows he lost weight. Yes, Ethan is an active kid but the time he is hungry he gets rice in water with a little bit of pork, which is the type of congee his grandmother makes. Where does he get any nutrients necessary for his growing body?
Don't get me wrong, my MIL is truly a nice and kind hearted woman who would sacrifice herself for her children at a heartbeat. However, when it comes to food, she herself only eats white rice and congee and may be some dried fish once in a while. When I asked why, she said she just doesn't like to eat other food. How can I expect one who doesn't love food to think about cooking a nutritious meal for someone else?
Food is one major reason I think putting Ethan in daycare is better. At Red Apple, food is served according to the standard of the Department of Education. Nothing is more important than a healthy body.
As for a sound mind, that's the torment. Ethan is spoiled. He manuvers those he loves with crying. Nobody likes a crying kid and all instinct tell us to do everything to stop a crying kid from suffering. Well, even though I have had two years of experience with discerning what is a real cry from a fake one, there are times when I really wonder if Ethan is really suffering when he cries. Pain somewhere? May be some sort of discomfort? More and more, I am concluding that he is just trying to get immediate attention from an adult. So the fact is clear. Ethan needs to leave the "all" loving home environment and get into a more social environment where he is not the center of all existence. At the same time, the fact that he still attempts to bite when he gets frustrated gets me worried. Will the teachers get upset at his crying episodes so bad that they say bad things to him in his face or even put him at a corner all day? Will he be emotionally damaged? Will he learn to conform to group behavior too much that he loses individuality? Ethan is a happy kid with a beautiful and innocent laugh when he is happy. I will never want to see that disappear. Then again, with biting, there is always the potential of being sued. Who wants their kid bitten? As the mother of a biter, I must honestly say that I see no other option but to put him in school because Ethan needs to be away from all the culprit- perhaps me included - who somehow let him express his frustrations this way. Then there were mothers who told me that biting and hiting is more normal than I think. Perhaps. Aside from the behavior issue that I want Ethan to change, I think he will also learn things from being in school that he will not learn at home.
So the decision has been made. Nonetheless, there is still a part of me that is not feeling easy. I guess all change is difficult. I can only hope for the best.
JW
Finally, after months of back and forth, I finally decided that it's time. There are just so many reasons to give day care a try. As the days go by, these reasons are looking more certain to outweight the reasons not to put Ethan in day care. First of all, I have tried to ignore the fact that Ethan's day time diet is beyond miserable. Congee, Congee and more congee, with bread sometimes. This is probably one of the same problem I have experienced with my MIL - indirect does not work for her but direct would yield confrontation and bad feelings. I left food in the refrigerator - buns, dumplings, frozen soy beans, fruits, cheerios, animal crackers - all of which she refused to feed Ethan. I turned to the nannies. The nannies did not want to contradict the MIL. I then noticed MIL started bringing food like sponge cakes and rice noodles with beef inside. So fine, I left it at that but continued to leave the same type of food in the refrigerator, in the hopes that she would either get bored with bringing the food or the cost would stop her at some point. Noop, she did not stop but very often she would bring a whole cart of congee for the day and Ethan would have that for breakfast, lunch and late afternoon snack. Granted, there were times when I consumed the food over the weekend but failed to recharge the refrigerator for a day or two. I heard no complaint and so that was how it went because the food would be untouched anyway. In the past month, I noticed that he would have congee at about 5:00 or 5:30 pm because he refused to eat dinner with us, the meal that would give him the most nutrition because I often have fish, a vegetable and a pork or chicken dish, plus a healthy pot of soup. Now, Ethan is really a stick. Everybody knows he lost weight. Yes, Ethan is an active kid but the time he is hungry he gets rice in water with a little bit of pork, which is the type of congee his grandmother makes. Where does he get any nutrients necessary for his growing body?
Don't get me wrong, my MIL is truly a nice and kind hearted woman who would sacrifice herself for her children at a heartbeat. However, when it comes to food, she herself only eats white rice and congee and may be some dried fish once in a while. When I asked why, she said she just doesn't like to eat other food. How can I expect one who doesn't love food to think about cooking a nutritious meal for someone else?
Food is one major reason I think putting Ethan in daycare is better. At Red Apple, food is served according to the standard of the Department of Education. Nothing is more important than a healthy body.
As for a sound mind, that's the torment. Ethan is spoiled. He manuvers those he loves with crying. Nobody likes a crying kid and all instinct tell us to do everything to stop a crying kid from suffering. Well, even though I have had two years of experience with discerning what is a real cry from a fake one, there are times when I really wonder if Ethan is really suffering when he cries. Pain somewhere? May be some sort of discomfort? More and more, I am concluding that he is just trying to get immediate attention from an adult. So the fact is clear. Ethan needs to leave the "all" loving home environment and get into a more social environment where he is not the center of all existence. At the same time, the fact that he still attempts to bite when he gets frustrated gets me worried. Will the teachers get upset at his crying episodes so bad that they say bad things to him in his face or even put him at a corner all day? Will he be emotionally damaged? Will he learn to conform to group behavior too much that he loses individuality? Ethan is a happy kid with a beautiful and innocent laugh when he is happy. I will never want to see that disappear. Then again, with biting, there is always the potential of being sued. Who wants their kid bitten? As the mother of a biter, I must honestly say that I see no other option but to put him in school because Ethan needs to be away from all the culprit- perhaps me included - who somehow let him express his frustrations this way. Then there were mothers who told me that biting and hiting is more normal than I think. Perhaps. Aside from the behavior issue that I want Ethan to change, I think he will also learn things from being in school that he will not learn at home.
So the decision has been made. Nonetheless, there is still a part of me that is not feeling easy. I guess all change is difficult. I can only hope for the best.
JW
Friday, October 12, 2007
A Loving Marriage
I always wonder whatever happened to the romance . . . the tenderness and connection . . . between my parents, or that of JK's parents. It always saddens me and JK whenever we think that we are losing the connection that brought so much joy to our hearts.
Last weekend, we entertained my father's cousin K from Australia. He is a successful dentist in Australia with six kids and, of course, a beautiful wife A. During the two days that we were together, we got to talk a bit in the midst of the walk around Manhattan. His very beautiful wife A said none of their kids were planned, and they were close in age. They came to visit Disney World and New York City with their three younger kids ages 10, 11, and 15. So, I thought, that's a lot of work and not much time for themselves. Well, they apparently made time and shared in the tasks as they both were talking very fondly of those days when they had to change diapers six times. K even said he had to buy diapers continuously for 12 years. When asked how they managed all the kids, he said, "Just don't think about it and just do it." I remember hearing this same answer from my jewish neighbors who all have at least four kids. During the walk around Manhattan, I noticed they were holding hands whenever they had a chance. At one point, when we were all in a crowded train, Ken even held her close like what I would see young dating couples do. They always communicated with the sweetest of tones.
So JK and I were inspired. One difference between K and my Dad is that K is a professional who earned enough to support a stay-at-home mom and six kids, plus hired a nanny to help with the kids and clean around the house. My dad was hard working but earned enough only to pay the rent and a bit more. My mother always had to work. This is the common story of most of my friend's parents. It is interesting that we are couples with K's qualifications but somehow, like most of my girlfriends, I am not the stay-at-home mom but work full-time. Needless to say, I struggle with the lack of time for the kids. We try our best on the weekends. However, I wonder, just wonder, even if we can make up for the kids, can we overcome the lack of time for the marraige?! Perhaps, this is the challenge!
JW
I always wonder whatever happened to the romance . . . the tenderness and connection . . . between my parents, or that of JK's parents. It always saddens me and JK whenever we think that we are losing the connection that brought so much joy to our hearts.
Last weekend, we entertained my father's cousin K from Australia. He is a successful dentist in Australia with six kids and, of course, a beautiful wife A. During the two days that we were together, we got to talk a bit in the midst of the walk around Manhattan. His very beautiful wife A said none of their kids were planned, and they were close in age. They came to visit Disney World and New York City with their three younger kids ages 10, 11, and 15. So, I thought, that's a lot of work and not much time for themselves. Well, they apparently made time and shared in the tasks as they both were talking very fondly of those days when they had to change diapers six times. K even said he had to buy diapers continuously for 12 years. When asked how they managed all the kids, he said, "Just don't think about it and just do it." I remember hearing this same answer from my jewish neighbors who all have at least four kids. During the walk around Manhattan, I noticed they were holding hands whenever they had a chance. At one point, when we were all in a crowded train, Ken even held her close like what I would see young dating couples do. They always communicated with the sweetest of tones.
So JK and I were inspired. One difference between K and my Dad is that K is a professional who earned enough to support a stay-at-home mom and six kids, plus hired a nanny to help with the kids and clean around the house. My dad was hard working but earned enough only to pay the rent and a bit more. My mother always had to work. This is the common story of most of my friend's parents. It is interesting that we are couples with K's qualifications but somehow, like most of my girlfriends, I am not the stay-at-home mom but work full-time. Needless to say, I struggle with the lack of time for the kids. We try our best on the weekends. However, I wonder, just wonder, even if we can make up for the kids, can we overcome the lack of time for the marraige?! Perhaps, this is the challenge!
JW
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
"Mum Mum" is History
I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last reported on the adventure of our parenthood! Well, the best news is that one morning two weeks ago, naughty Ethan threw his pacifier into the toilet and Daddy found out the hard way. The rest of the day, which happened to have been a Sunday, Daddy was busy trying to unclot the toilet and Ethan watched the whole thing because he was anxious to get his pacifier back. That of course, never happened because as soon as JK fished it out, we happily tossed it into the garbage can. My MIL made the best suggestion ever - just tell Ethan the pacifier was never found. So that's what we did and Ethan took full responsibility. Everytime I said it's gone because he threw it into the toilet, he would point to the direction of the bathroom, saying "Mum Mum Tsi Saw," meaning "pacifier bathroom". Now, when I ask him to sleep, he would even close his eyes and try to sleep. Since that eventful Sunday, Ethan is talking more and his vocabulary increased tenfold. I don't know if it's a coincidence because at 2 years of age, kids learn to speak in lightning speed. His breath also smells better. What can I say?! JK and I are just exhilarated!
Yesterday night, for the first time, Ethan kissed us with his lips. JK reported that last night, as he was walking home after parking the car, he picked Ethan up and casually asked him in Chinese if he kisses Daddy, which although the word is "kiss" the meaning is really "love". Ethan said yes in his loud high pitch toddler voice and kissed Daddy on the cheek. JK was soooo happy that I can't find the word to express for him. JK was still talking about it this morning. When Ethan was asked the same question by me, he came to me and kissed me on the cheek with that loud kissing sound I had taught him. The joy was inexplicable! JK and I are still living the "high" from this milestone Ethan made - finally, he has learned to make other people happy by giving back.
Ethan also showed emotions of missing his other friends, like Gwen Gwen and Kalie, who are both his age and who he loves to hug . . . and kiss if he can get close enough.
So, we are proud parents of a boy now!
JW
I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last reported on the adventure of our parenthood! Well, the best news is that one morning two weeks ago, naughty Ethan threw his pacifier into the toilet and Daddy found out the hard way. The rest of the day, which happened to have been a Sunday, Daddy was busy trying to unclot the toilet and Ethan watched the whole thing because he was anxious to get his pacifier back. That of course, never happened because as soon as JK fished it out, we happily tossed it into the garbage can. My MIL made the best suggestion ever - just tell Ethan the pacifier was never found. So that's what we did and Ethan took full responsibility. Everytime I said it's gone because he threw it into the toilet, he would point to the direction of the bathroom, saying "Mum Mum Tsi Saw," meaning "pacifier bathroom". Now, when I ask him to sleep, he would even close his eyes and try to sleep. Since that eventful Sunday, Ethan is talking more and his vocabulary increased tenfold. I don't know if it's a coincidence because at 2 years of age, kids learn to speak in lightning speed. His breath also smells better. What can I say?! JK and I are just exhilarated!
Yesterday night, for the first time, Ethan kissed us with his lips. JK reported that last night, as he was walking home after parking the car, he picked Ethan up and casually asked him in Chinese if he kisses Daddy, which although the word is "kiss" the meaning is really "love". Ethan said yes in his loud high pitch toddler voice and kissed Daddy on the cheek. JK was soooo happy that I can't find the word to express for him. JK was still talking about it this morning. When Ethan was asked the same question by me, he came to me and kissed me on the cheek with that loud kissing sound I had taught him. The joy was inexplicable! JK and I are still living the "high" from this milestone Ethan made - finally, he has learned to make other people happy by giving back.
Ethan also showed emotions of missing his other friends, like Gwen Gwen and Kalie, who are both his age and who he loves to hug . . . and kiss if he can get close enough.
So, we are proud parents of a boy now!
JW
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