She is BIG!
Yesterday was an exciting yet depressing day. JK went with me to see my OBGYN because we could get a glimpse of her during the ultrasound, where her development was once again checked and her weight estimated. The technician even gave us a 3D picture of her face, which was nice because we could see how she looks even when she was in the womb. She is chubby with a button nose, just like daddy as I was told by JK. She is healthy . . . and 5 lbs 15 ozs!!!!!! By size, she is 36 weeks. By gestational age, she is only 34 weeks. So good for her, sad for me as I will certainly have to push for more than 2 hours this time around. She is growing at 1 oz a day at this stage of her life. So by 38 weeks, she will be more than 8 lbs. All these brought back memories of a difficult and painful recovery. Then, of course, I was, as well as everyone around me were, very happy to see a healthy and vibrant baby. But like the experience of all mothers, mothers are often forgotten as soon as the baby is born. Having babies is thought to be such a "natural" thing that women are expected to bounce back to normal health and spirit very quickly after the baby is born. This is true for some women, but not for some. I am not one of those lucky ones as my babies tend to be big and I am just not so physically fit.
As a mother, I am grateful that she is healthy and I can't wait to hold her in my arms and kiss her tender skin. I just hope I'll be healthy enough to bond with her and to take good care of her.
JW
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Gender Discrimination Still Quite Strong
People generally take men more seriously than women. Why?
In shopping for a new car two years ago, I went into the dealership knowing pretty much what I wanted. JK didn't quite know. But as it turned out, the conversation happened between JK and the sales agent. I barely got a word in. JK asked good questions, many of which I could have answered because I did the research. The sales agent was patient with JK. I never felt any sales agent is patient with me, and I can bet a lot of money that if I had asked the type of questions that JK asked, I would be treated as being annoying or plain too ignorant. Nonetheless, because the questions came out of a man who was eloquent, decent looking and serious, he was a serious customer.
Then when we started searching for an apartment in Manhattan a year ago, even though I was the one who set up the appointment etc, as soon as the agent meets us, the conversations were never with me. I was just the woman who tagged along. Granted, JK does tend to ask a lot of questions. The only time when I was really talked to was when one of the real estate agent was a woman, and she saw that my concerns were the deciding factors on whether we will make an offer on an apartment. So agents could talk to JK till the sun comes down, the deal won't happen without my concerns being addressed. So once that was taken into consideration, this female agent got us our current apartment. Interestingly, she and her son who work as partners had for prejudicial reasons thought that we live in a one-income family because I am pregnant. They only found out that I actually have a job when they asked for our attorney's contact information, and I gave her my contact information. They were in shock, though they try to hide it. I know I don't try to dress like a lawyer. Why should I? In any event, I think even if I dressed in suits everytime we go view an apartment, I would still have been on the sideline with the conversations mainly between JK and the agent.
This happened again as we were trying to lock down a general contractor to renovate the apartment. I always go into a meeting with a good idea of what I want and with an open mind on whatever suggestions the contractor may have. JK, on the other hand, has a lot of questions and figures out what he wants in the process. So you can imagine what happens. I was standing there, and they engaged in a conversation of what will be renovated and the approximate cost. I tried to get a few words in, correcting JK on what we really wanted etc. After the meeting, I would have a serious conversation with JK about what I wanted to ensure that he knows what to discuss with contractors when we interview them. When we finally locked in a contractor, the contract was between JK and the GC. Hey, no problem. I just felt I have no voice in conversations that matter. JK went through the contract paragraph by paragraph, requesting changes to the language in warranties, etc. According to the GC, none of his customers ever read the second page with all the terms, let along requesting the language be changed. That's the good thing about JK -- he sends the message that he cannot be fooled in an indirect way. What was interesting was JK got so involved in the discussion with the GC that he actually thinks he knows more about contract law than me, and overruled me on a pure contract law question in front of the GC. I didn't want to reveal that I am a lawyer because I don't like how people react when they realize they were talking to a lawyer so I kept quiet. It didn't matter anyway because JK was going to get the contract language changed with or without my help. So I guess it's okay as long as I am with JK. Imagine if I have to go it alone as a woman? I would have been dismissed early on for being too troublesome with questions, or thought not to have enough money rather than trying to get a good deal. It's so unfair that men (and some women too) still can't take women seriously today, when there are so many professional women with money ready and able to buy big ticket items, particularly in New York City.
The search for a new home has made it absolutely clear to me that because I am a woman, it doesn't matter how much money I have, I will still have to work extra hard to get serviced and tolerate being treated as less worthy of the service provider's time.
JW
People generally take men more seriously than women. Why?
In shopping for a new car two years ago, I went into the dealership knowing pretty much what I wanted. JK didn't quite know. But as it turned out, the conversation happened between JK and the sales agent. I barely got a word in. JK asked good questions, many of which I could have answered because I did the research. The sales agent was patient with JK. I never felt any sales agent is patient with me, and I can bet a lot of money that if I had asked the type of questions that JK asked, I would be treated as being annoying or plain too ignorant. Nonetheless, because the questions came out of a man who was eloquent, decent looking and serious, he was a serious customer.
Then when we started searching for an apartment in Manhattan a year ago, even though I was the one who set up the appointment etc, as soon as the agent meets us, the conversations were never with me. I was just the woman who tagged along. Granted, JK does tend to ask a lot of questions. The only time when I was really talked to was when one of the real estate agent was a woman, and she saw that my concerns were the deciding factors on whether we will make an offer on an apartment. So agents could talk to JK till the sun comes down, the deal won't happen without my concerns being addressed. So once that was taken into consideration, this female agent got us our current apartment. Interestingly, she and her son who work as partners had for prejudicial reasons thought that we live in a one-income family because I am pregnant. They only found out that I actually have a job when they asked for our attorney's contact information, and I gave her my contact information. They were in shock, though they try to hide it. I know I don't try to dress like a lawyer. Why should I? In any event, I think even if I dressed in suits everytime we go view an apartment, I would still have been on the sideline with the conversations mainly between JK and the agent.
This happened again as we were trying to lock down a general contractor to renovate the apartment. I always go into a meeting with a good idea of what I want and with an open mind on whatever suggestions the contractor may have. JK, on the other hand, has a lot of questions and figures out what he wants in the process. So you can imagine what happens. I was standing there, and they engaged in a conversation of what will be renovated and the approximate cost. I tried to get a few words in, correcting JK on what we really wanted etc. After the meeting, I would have a serious conversation with JK about what I wanted to ensure that he knows what to discuss with contractors when we interview them. When we finally locked in a contractor, the contract was between JK and the GC. Hey, no problem. I just felt I have no voice in conversations that matter. JK went through the contract paragraph by paragraph, requesting changes to the language in warranties, etc. According to the GC, none of his customers ever read the second page with all the terms, let along requesting the language be changed. That's the good thing about JK -- he sends the message that he cannot be fooled in an indirect way. What was interesting was JK got so involved in the discussion with the GC that he actually thinks he knows more about contract law than me, and overruled me on a pure contract law question in front of the GC. I didn't want to reveal that I am a lawyer because I don't like how people react when they realize they were talking to a lawyer so I kept quiet. It didn't matter anyway because JK was going to get the contract language changed with or without my help. So I guess it's okay as long as I am with JK. Imagine if I have to go it alone as a woman? I would have been dismissed early on for being too troublesome with questions, or thought not to have enough money rather than trying to get a good deal. It's so unfair that men (and some women too) still can't take women seriously today, when there are so many professional women with money ready and able to buy big ticket items, particularly in New York City.
The search for a new home has made it absolutely clear to me that because I am a woman, it doesn't matter how much money I have, I will still have to work extra hard to get serviced and tolerate being treated as less worthy of the service provider's time.
JW
Friday, January 12, 2007
She Could Kick
The little one in me is growing strong despite my incessant and most of the time violent coughs. She kicks on my sides mostly, left and right. This makes me think she is stretched horizontally across my belly. It's a tingling feeling and it's reassuring that she is okay despite my ill health. But sometimes I do wonder if it's because she is struggling for help . . . in a distressed state. My OBGYN told me to take antibiotics and cough suppressants . . . but I am not suppose to take these stuff while I am pregnant! He reassured me that it's safe and that I have to stop coughing so hard. So I listened grudgingly and he was right, I improved immediately in two days. Now I cough only briefly and am feeling much better. She still kicks as hard and as frequently so I guess she is fine. When I was pregnant with Ethan, I remember counting his hick-ups at about 4:00 p.m. every afternoon. One time he had continuous hick-ups for fifteen minutes and I lost count. This little one just kicks and pokes. I wonder how she is like when we finally get to meet her. Her estimated time of arrival is March 5th.
And . . . as a side note, the He family has a Manhattan address as of yesterday. :-)
JW
The little one in me is growing strong despite my incessant and most of the time violent coughs. She kicks on my sides mostly, left and right. This makes me think she is stretched horizontally across my belly. It's a tingling feeling and it's reassuring that she is okay despite my ill health. But sometimes I do wonder if it's because she is struggling for help . . . in a distressed state. My OBGYN told me to take antibiotics and cough suppressants . . . but I am not suppose to take these stuff while I am pregnant! He reassured me that it's safe and that I have to stop coughing so hard. So I listened grudgingly and he was right, I improved immediately in two days. Now I cough only briefly and am feeling much better. She still kicks as hard and as frequently so I guess she is fine. When I was pregnant with Ethan, I remember counting his hick-ups at about 4:00 p.m. every afternoon. One time he had continuous hick-ups for fifteen minutes and I lost count. This little one just kicks and pokes. I wonder how she is like when we finally get to meet her. Her estimated time of arrival is March 5th.
And . . . as a side note, the He family has a Manhattan address as of yesterday. :-)
JW
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
"Da Da", "Pa Pa", and very rarely "Ma Ma"
It must be something about the tongue or the laziness of the brain. Ethan says Da Da about almost everything, and recently, he said very accurately "Pa Pa" to JK when he sees JK go pick him up from work. Me? He rarely utters a word but just glances at me, happily with a smile. At times, he would jump with his arms up in the air in wild cheers saying, "Da Da Da Da Da Da". Rarely, or may be I should say, not yet, had he said "Ma Ma" when I go pick him up at grandma's. Interestingly, as I recently noticed, when he is in the doctor's office and Daddy is stripping him down to his diaper, he desperately searches for me with open arms and teary eyes loudly saying, and crying, "Ma Ma, Ma Ma, Ma Ma". So he knows who I am and what he should call me. But it appears that only at desperate times is his brain triggered to utter those wonderful sounds that no doubt put a smile on my face. When will this willful kid call me "Ma Ma", which I rightfully deserved to be addressed?
JW
It must be something about the tongue or the laziness of the brain. Ethan says Da Da about almost everything, and recently, he said very accurately "Pa Pa" to JK when he sees JK go pick him up from work. Me? He rarely utters a word but just glances at me, happily with a smile. At times, he would jump with his arms up in the air in wild cheers saying, "Da Da Da Da Da Da". Rarely, or may be I should say, not yet, had he said "Ma Ma" when I go pick him up at grandma's. Interestingly, as I recently noticed, when he is in the doctor's office and Daddy is stripping him down to his diaper, he desperately searches for me with open arms and teary eyes loudly saying, and crying, "Ma Ma, Ma Ma, Ma Ma". So he knows who I am and what he should call me. But it appears that only at desperate times is his brain triggered to utter those wonderful sounds that no doubt put a smile on my face. When will this willful kid call me "Ma Ma", which I rightfully deserved to be addressed?
JW
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Sick Again
I have not been so sick so frequently ever before. But since September or so, I have been sick with only may be a week or two in between when I was not sick. It appears that Daddy was almost always the first in the family to get sick. Then Ethan would catch it. Then I would catch it from being overwhelmed with two sick people. I am tired of being sick and not feeling one hundred percent. On top of that, I have to take care of Ethan and still try to do what a normal mother/wife/woman would do - cook and clean up the messy home. Well, I just don't feel up to it when I am coughing up a storm and have no energy to get up from the sofa. The problem is, the sight of a mess and food getting spoiled makes me feel even more sick and annoyed. Since I have been sick so often, I forgot how a clean home is suppose to look. I am just so upset with the home getting messy and I am the only one who appears to notice any of it that I just don't see the point of cleaning -- it will be messy again after I clean in a matter of a few hours or sometimes a few minutes. I have two messy babies at home and mommy is just tired. My pregnancy is also making me feel loose all over, especially the hip bones and muscles so getting up meant pain and walking meant heavyness all over. So that's my complaint.
Today is the day the family has health insurance coverage again. Ethan is definitely infected with whatever I got from JK. He coughs loudly and has had a fever of over 101 for the past two days. I have no doubt that he has a strep throat. It's now a few minutes before 4:00 a.m. and I hear him crying again. I know his throat is in pain and he can't cough out his flem because he doesn't know how to. Poor thing. Unfortunately, today is Sunday so he will have to wait another day before we can take him to his pediatrician first thing Monday morning.
As for me, I need antibiotics NOW. My coughs are so violent I could feel the little one in me squeezed and bounced all over whenever the coughing episodes hit. From the google search, this should not harm the baby. I hope so. I am two months from my due date and I really can't afford to be sick anymore. In fact, I should be getting stronger and more fit each day in preparation for that very exhausting and painful day of labor. How I can make sure I don't get sick again? I don't know anymore. I thought I was on the right track until this strep throat infection came along last week. Is it just me, JK and Ethan who appear to be sick all the time this Fall and Winter? Or is this the experience of most people? Oh, God help us!
JW
I have not been so sick so frequently ever before. But since September or so, I have been sick with only may be a week or two in between when I was not sick. It appears that Daddy was almost always the first in the family to get sick. Then Ethan would catch it. Then I would catch it from being overwhelmed with two sick people. I am tired of being sick and not feeling one hundred percent. On top of that, I have to take care of Ethan and still try to do what a normal mother/wife/woman would do - cook and clean up the messy home. Well, I just don't feel up to it when I am coughing up a storm and have no energy to get up from the sofa. The problem is, the sight of a mess and food getting spoiled makes me feel even more sick and annoyed. Since I have been sick so often, I forgot how a clean home is suppose to look. I am just so upset with the home getting messy and I am the only one who appears to notice any of it that I just don't see the point of cleaning -- it will be messy again after I clean in a matter of a few hours or sometimes a few minutes. I have two messy babies at home and mommy is just tired. My pregnancy is also making me feel loose all over, especially the hip bones and muscles so getting up meant pain and walking meant heavyness all over. So that's my complaint.
Today is the day the family has health insurance coverage again. Ethan is definitely infected with whatever I got from JK. He coughs loudly and has had a fever of over 101 for the past two days. I have no doubt that he has a strep throat. It's now a few minutes before 4:00 a.m. and I hear him crying again. I know his throat is in pain and he can't cough out his flem because he doesn't know how to. Poor thing. Unfortunately, today is Sunday so he will have to wait another day before we can take him to his pediatrician first thing Monday morning.
As for me, I need antibiotics NOW. My coughs are so violent I could feel the little one in me squeezed and bounced all over whenever the coughing episodes hit. From the google search, this should not harm the baby. I hope so. I am two months from my due date and I really can't afford to be sick anymore. In fact, I should be getting stronger and more fit each day in preparation for that very exhausting and painful day of labor. How I can make sure I don't get sick again? I don't know anymore. I thought I was on the right track until this strep throat infection came along last week. Is it just me, JK and Ethan who appear to be sick all the time this Fall and Winter? Or is this the experience of most people? Oh, God help us!
JW
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Ultimate Nightmare of the Poor
In my younger days, like before starting my first job at the NLRB, I never thought about not having health insurance. But after six and a half years with full coverage, being pregnant right now, and with a 15 month toddler, not having health insurance coverage does keep me awake at night. I don't know how the working poor manage those fears. I am certainly not very good at it. My very calm husband just tells me, "Stop stressing over it, it's just going to be a week." Yes, it's just going to be a week. From January 1st to January 7th, we have no coverage because we changed from his plan to the government plan. Unfortunately, the government's fiscal pay period doesn't start until 1/7/07 so all must work around it, including when health coverage commences. I kicked and screamed over the phone for a day and realized that I can't convince the government to make this one exception for me and my family.
The unthinkable happened on December 27th. JK got a minor strep throat. Since we still had coverage then, he got some antibiotics. I cautioned him to stay away from me and Ethan. Well, TAKE A BIG GUESS, he did not. He casually kissed me on the lips several times on December 31st because it was almost midnight and I was dead tired and didn't pay much mind to his strep throat. So on the first day of no coverage, I was coughing up a storm. Great, just GREAT! I am trying to stay away from Ethan but he loves to hug me, grab my hands and thrust me his cheeks so I can kiss him. Oh, it is all so sweet but the last thing I want to do is to get him sick, especially now. We have so much expenses coming up with the big move to Manhattan. I just don't want to shell out several hundred dollars or may be even over a thousand dollars just to visit the doctor. I hope to fight this strep throat until next Tuesday, when I am scheduled to see my OBGYN. Meanwhile, I hope God protects Ethan from mommy and daddy. We just have to endure five more days.
JW
In my younger days, like before starting my first job at the NLRB, I never thought about not having health insurance. But after six and a half years with full coverage, being pregnant right now, and with a 15 month toddler, not having health insurance coverage does keep me awake at night. I don't know how the working poor manage those fears. I am certainly not very good at it. My very calm husband just tells me, "Stop stressing over it, it's just going to be a week." Yes, it's just going to be a week. From January 1st to January 7th, we have no coverage because we changed from his plan to the government plan. Unfortunately, the government's fiscal pay period doesn't start until 1/7/07 so all must work around it, including when health coverage commences. I kicked and screamed over the phone for a day and realized that I can't convince the government to make this one exception for me and my family.
The unthinkable happened on December 27th. JK got a minor strep throat. Since we still had coverage then, he got some antibiotics. I cautioned him to stay away from me and Ethan. Well, TAKE A BIG GUESS, he did not. He casually kissed me on the lips several times on December 31st because it was almost midnight and I was dead tired and didn't pay much mind to his strep throat. So on the first day of no coverage, I was coughing up a storm. Great, just GREAT! I am trying to stay away from Ethan but he loves to hug me, grab my hands and thrust me his cheeks so I can kiss him. Oh, it is all so sweet but the last thing I want to do is to get him sick, especially now. We have so much expenses coming up with the big move to Manhattan. I just don't want to shell out several hundred dollars or may be even over a thousand dollars just to visit the doctor. I hope to fight this strep throat until next Tuesday, when I am scheduled to see my OBGYN. Meanwhile, I hope God protects Ethan from mommy and daddy. We just have to endure five more days.
JW
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