Anxious Anticipation
Do you still remember the days when you wait anxiously, with all the excitement one can have, for something to be delivered? And you were right there at home waiting for it? As much as it was exciting to anticipate such a delivery, you must agree it was torturous too.
Ethan earned his razor mini kick scooter and I mistakenly told him that it would be delivered today. Well, the scooter is in transit to be delivered today. The mistake was in telling him because he has been at the door every few minutes checking if the delivery arrived. The babysitter couldn't even convince him to go out for a bike ride. When I called a few minutes ago, Ethan's first words were, "How many more minutes, Mommy? Is it here yet?" Huh, what should I say? My poor little boy. I told him the package won't get there any sooner just because he is at the door wishing that it arrives. I told him to just go to the playground in the back of the building and have fun. Ethan said he'll have fun at home with his trains and train tracks. Then he couldn't wait to get off the phone so he can go back to door-watching.
I hope the scooter arrives as scheduled. Otherwise, Ethan will bug me till I want to jump out the window.
Is there a better word to describe Ethan's feelings than anxious anticipation?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Incentives
Human nature has the best of us -- desires for "stuff" can truly be the driving force for achievements. At the age of 4, it's the Razor Mini Kick Scooter, and Ethan is very close to earning it. Unknown to him, I already ordered two, one for him and one for Artimus. These little scooters are not the least cheap. But they could do wonders. To earn this scooter, Ethan had to, among the seven critical items, (1) stop using hurtful words when he gets angry, (2) sleep through the night by himself in his own bed, and (3) get dress by himself everyday. He had to get six out of seven "happy faces" each day for seven days straight to earn it. So far, after seven days, he had made marked improvements. And for two days in a row, he even stopped crawling into my bed until after 6:00 am. If he gets seven happy faces today as well as tomorrow, you will see him riding that scooter down Grand Street with a happy proud face. In fact, you might see me, Artimus and Ethan each riding our own scooter down Grand Street on a sunny day. Yup, mommy got a scooter too. They can't be the only ones having fun!
After a year of struggles, the Razor Mini Kick Scooter turned out to be the best motivator for change.
Oh, in case you are wondering, Artimus has no problem with the big issues, like sleeping. She has the little issues like whining and not wanting to brush her teeth or get out of the bathtub. Interestingly, I'll have to hide her scooter until she comes close to earning it. Right now, she is barely getting five happy faces a day.
Human nature has the best of us -- desires for "stuff" can truly be the driving force for achievements. At the age of 4, it's the Razor Mini Kick Scooter, and Ethan is very close to earning it. Unknown to him, I already ordered two, one for him and one for Artimus. These little scooters are not the least cheap. But they could do wonders. To earn this scooter, Ethan had to, among the seven critical items, (1) stop using hurtful words when he gets angry, (2) sleep through the night by himself in his own bed, and (3) get dress by himself everyday. He had to get six out of seven "happy faces" each day for seven days straight to earn it. So far, after seven days, he had made marked improvements. And for two days in a row, he even stopped crawling into my bed until after 6:00 am. If he gets seven happy faces today as well as tomorrow, you will see him riding that scooter down Grand Street with a happy proud face. In fact, you might see me, Artimus and Ethan each riding our own scooter down Grand Street on a sunny day. Yup, mommy got a scooter too. They can't be the only ones having fun!
After a year of struggles, the Razor Mini Kick Scooter turned out to be the best motivator for change.
Oh, in case you are wondering, Artimus has no problem with the big issues, like sleeping. She has the little issues like whining and not wanting to brush her teeth or get out of the bathtub. Interestingly, I'll have to hide her scooter until she comes close to earning it. Right now, she is barely getting five happy faces a day.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Single Mom and Single Dad
After about three months of waiting for the divorce papers to pass through the bureaucratic machinary, JK and I finally got the Judgment of Divorce. It's in the County Clerk's Office. It's about another year if I want a copy mailed to me. It's just $8 if I go pick it up tomorrow. Divorce is never easy.
I am running there to get a copy because I have to change my health insurance so the kids can see their pediatricians again. The two Artimus and Ethan have been visiting since birth are really old timers. The new one Ethan and I visited last Friday didn't seem to know her stuff. Ethan was referred to two specialists. Such was never the case before.
Now, Mom and Dad are both single. What does that mean? I have yet to find out. It's a journey full of hope ... or, may be today's weather seems to make me see everything more positively.
After about three months of waiting for the divorce papers to pass through the bureaucratic machinary, JK and I finally got the Judgment of Divorce. It's in the County Clerk's Office. It's about another year if I want a copy mailed to me. It's just $8 if I go pick it up tomorrow. Divorce is never easy.
I am running there to get a copy because I have to change my health insurance so the kids can see their pediatricians again. The two Artimus and Ethan have been visiting since birth are really old timers. The new one Ethan and I visited last Friday didn't seem to know her stuff. Ethan was referred to two specialists. Such was never the case before.
Now, Mom and Dad are both single. What does that mean? I have yet to find out. It's a journey full of hope ... or, may be today's weather seems to make me see everything more positively.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Parent-Teacher Conference
Ethan is doing well in school, according to his teachers. The Chinese teacher, who speaks no English, said that Ethan loves to talk and talks too much in class. She also encourages students to speak only Mandarin in class but Ethan is talking too much in English. She wants me to be aware of this problem. I don't see what I can do to change this except to mention to Ethan that I am aware of his being a chatter box in class. Then the Chinese teacher noted that Ethan has the inclination to color and draw with black and other dark colors. She said that's a sign that Ethan is not happy and he is thinking about things. I thought that was an interesting observation.
The English teacher, and her assistant, was more upbeat about Ethan. They said that he is not just a follower, and that he sometimes enjoy taking the lead when he plays with other kids. They were quite pleased with his progress because he apologizes when he is told that he did something wrong. In particular, he used to hate holding hands with his partner Sally. He would either refuse to hold her hand or he would squeeze her hand really hard so that Sally would go running to the teachers. Now, they said, with relief, Ethan doesn't do that as frequently. The main teacher said that she has high expectations from Ethan because he is one of the few in the class who has a large amount of vocabulary.
So, not so bad! I just have to work on his sleep and his ability to control words that comes out of his month ... yeah, a long story.
Ethan is doing well in school, according to his teachers. The Chinese teacher, who speaks no English, said that Ethan loves to talk and talks too much in class. She also encourages students to speak only Mandarin in class but Ethan is talking too much in English. She wants me to be aware of this problem. I don't see what I can do to change this except to mention to Ethan that I am aware of his being a chatter box in class. Then the Chinese teacher noted that Ethan has the inclination to color and draw with black and other dark colors. She said that's a sign that Ethan is not happy and he is thinking about things. I thought that was an interesting observation.
The English teacher, and her assistant, was more upbeat about Ethan. They said that he is not just a follower, and that he sometimes enjoy taking the lead when he plays with other kids. They were quite pleased with his progress because he apologizes when he is told that he did something wrong. In particular, he used to hate holding hands with his partner Sally. He would either refuse to hold her hand or he would squeeze her hand really hard so that Sally would go running to the teachers. Now, they said, with relief, Ethan doesn't do that as frequently. The main teacher said that she has high expectations from Ethan because he is one of the few in the class who has a large amount of vocabulary.
So, not so bad! I just have to work on his sleep and his ability to control words that comes out of his month ... yeah, a long story.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Good Person
What makes a person good?
When I was pregnant with Ethan, I was deeply concerned about the kind of person he will become. I realized that of all the things that I wanted my son to be, the most important to me was that he grows up to become a good person - one who cares about the plight of others and is a giving person. I still remember that anytime I was alone with him, I would rub my belly and whisper to him my hopes and dreams that he just be a good person.
Is being a good person, under my definition, innate? Or is it learned? If it is learned, then I must be an example of one who cares about the plight of others and is a giving person, even if that means I forgo something/someone I truly want to have. This is not easy, but to choose otherwise seems hypocritical.
I hope that one day, when I look back at all the decisions I made in life, that I can be proud to have made them. What is mine is mine. What is not will never be. What I do have are my children. They are my responsibility and a mark of my achievement. So the sleepless nights will be what they will be. I will conquer them with love.
This is an entry I share with a special friend.
What makes a person good?
When I was pregnant with Ethan, I was deeply concerned about the kind of person he will become. I realized that of all the things that I wanted my son to be, the most important to me was that he grows up to become a good person - one who cares about the plight of others and is a giving person. I still remember that anytime I was alone with him, I would rub my belly and whisper to him my hopes and dreams that he just be a good person.
Is being a good person, under my definition, innate? Or is it learned? If it is learned, then I must be an example of one who cares about the plight of others and is a giving person, even if that means I forgo something/someone I truly want to have. This is not easy, but to choose otherwise seems hypocritical.
I hope that one day, when I look back at all the decisions I made in life, that I can be proud to have made them. What is mine is mine. What is not will never be. What I do have are my children. They are my responsibility and a mark of my achievement. So the sleepless nights will be what they will be. I will conquer them with love.
This is an entry I share with a special friend.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
A Little Down
I am a little down, not the kids. There was a moment today when I just questioned whether I could handle it all alone as a single mom. Yes, daddy is always around despite our separation. But financially, we are quite separate. I was to take over all medical bills this year on. After what I thought was a thorough look-around for a good health insurance plan in my job, on our first visit to the pediatrician's for Artimus' 3 year check up, I was told by the pediatrician that they do not take GHI. For the first time, I felt the weight of having no health insurance. Even on a regular annual visit, which is a routine check up, the cost was an arm and a leg - $285.00, after some major discount. How do people with no health insurance but who have health problems handle it? This experience made me question whether I have too much on my plate and not enough mental power to do things right. I need to reevaluate how I get things done and look for room to improve so I don't make this type of big mistake again. Meanwhile, I'll be searching for a pediatrician who takes GHI.
Another lesson learned today - GHI does not pay its doctors enough so doctors are dropping GHI left and right.
As for the single moms out there handling it all, and who still have a good spirit, I applaud you. This is a tough road to travel.
I am a little down, not the kids. There was a moment today when I just questioned whether I could handle it all alone as a single mom. Yes, daddy is always around despite our separation. But financially, we are quite separate. I was to take over all medical bills this year on. After what I thought was a thorough look-around for a good health insurance plan in my job, on our first visit to the pediatrician's for Artimus' 3 year check up, I was told by the pediatrician that they do not take GHI. For the first time, I felt the weight of having no health insurance. Even on a regular annual visit, which is a routine check up, the cost was an arm and a leg - $285.00, after some major discount. How do people with no health insurance but who have health problems handle it? This experience made me question whether I have too much on my plate and not enough mental power to do things right. I need to reevaluate how I get things done and look for room to improve so I don't make this type of big mistake again. Meanwhile, I'll be searching for a pediatrician who takes GHI.
Another lesson learned today - GHI does not pay its doctors enough so doctors are dropping GHI left and right.
As for the single moms out there handling it all, and who still have a good spirit, I applaud you. This is a tough road to travel.
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