A Loving Marriage

I always wonder whatever happened to the romance . . . the tenderness and connection . . . between my parents, or that of JK's parents. It always saddens me and JK whenever we think that we are losing the connection that brought so much joy to our hearts.

Last weekend, we entertained my father's cousin K from Australia. He is a successful dentist in Australia with six kids and, of course, a beautiful wife A. During the two days that we were together, we got to talk a bit in the midst of the walk around Manhattan. His very beautiful wife A said none of their kids were planned, and they were close in age. They came to visit Disney World and New York City with their three younger kids ages 10, 11, and 15. So, I thought, that's a lot of work and not much time for themselves. Well, they apparently made time and shared in the tasks as they both were talking very fondly of those days when they had to change diapers six times. K even said he had to buy diapers continuously for 12 years. When asked how they managed all the kids, he said, "Just don't think about it and just do it." I remember hearing this same answer from my jewish neighbors who all have at least four kids. During the walk around Manhattan, I noticed they were holding hands whenever they had a chance. At one point, when we were all in a crowded train, Ken even held her close like what I would see young dating couples do. They always communicated with the sweetest of tones.

So JK and I were inspired. One difference between K and my Dad is that K is a professional who earned enough to support a stay-at-home mom and six kids, plus hired a nanny to help with the kids and clean around the house. My dad was hard working but earned enough only to pay the rent and a bit more. My mother always had to work. This is the common story of most of my friend's parents. It is interesting that we are couples with K's qualifications but somehow, like most of my girlfriends, I am not the stay-at-home mom but work full-time. Needless to say, I struggle with the lack of time for the kids. We try our best on the weekends. However, I wonder, just wonder, even if we can make up for the kids, can we overcome the lack of time for the marraige?! Perhaps, this is the challenge!

JW